Rory sensed that I wanted to be alone, so he arranged to meet me later that evening, then he flagged a jeepney to go to Smokey Mountain by himself. I just wandered around town.
It was strange to be alone.
Previously, I thought that you could never be alone with the sun always shining so brightly. In Manila, people never looked alone. There was always too much noise for that, and yet I walked along the side streets past endless concrete-walled buildings and never saw a soul.
You could be alone in Manila if you tried.
Cars sped by as if Manila was not a place to be seen after all. A black burning heat bounced off the roads.
Dunkin’ Donuts was always empty, so I went in to get something to eat. The pastry stuck together in the heat, and the sun made my mouth dry. I threw the doughnut away, and I walked back to the central stream of life on Mabini Street. It wasn’t that I felt sorry for myself. Affairs, when they came to an end, always took me by surprise, and it hit me.
No love for a while!
With the Karin debacle still raw, I was feeling sorry for myself. But also, I was still hungry so I went off towards Mabini Street and found the nearest Burger King.
Mabini Street was jostling with tourists. Along the main drag, I passed The Golden Nugget and Sweet Sixteen and Heaven and Le Boulevard. You need never be alone, I thought, but you could be the loneliest man in the world.
Jeepney photo is by Shankar S via Flickr.
March 1988
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